Economics 101: When in trouble, print more money (just make sure it’s transgendered)

Today in my email, a “letter” pops up. It’s a letter to one Caitlyn Jenner from a reporter from my all-time favorite “news” source that still hasn’t figured out what “unsubscribe” means.

It reads “Dear Caitlyn Jenner, Please Reconsider Your Support of Ted Cruz”

Okay, this is begging to be opened. And ripped apart.

The tag line:

Our economy is not in mortal danger. Vulnerable trans teenagers are.

Um. Okay? I can’t say that I know what a trans teenager feels because

1) I’m not trans, and

2) I’m not a teenager.

But I do know what a failing economy feels like. I know what it costs to feed three teenaged kids every week ($300 in groceries). I know what it costs to put shoes on their feet ($150 for each child every 6 weeks). And I know how much we spend in health insurance ($250 per paycheck – that’s $500 a month and that’s our subsidized cost thanks to our place of employment). I also know that I haven’t seen a COLA or a raise in 5 years.

Not that I’m complaining. I get paid very well for the job I do. And my job is stable. I’m not in any threat of losing my position. Which, given the current situation, is a wonderful place to be. I recently attended a training class and two other students there told me that they only narrowly escaped layoffs. I am really blessed.

But don’t tell me that my concerns about the economy is not anywhere near as concerning as what a trans teenager is facing. Yes, being a teenager is difficult. But so is looking at your children and wondering if you’ll be able to feed them. Or seeing them sick and wondering if you can scrape together enough money to take them to the doctor, or buy them the medicine they need. Or watching your kids sleep and thinking “I have no job, how in the world can I pay my rent? Where are we going to sleep?”

Those are problems.

He goes on to talk about the National debt, stating that $18.5 trillion isn’t really all that bad. I mean, it’s not good, but it’s not like the country could collapse or anything. Obama inherited this debt and it was worse than the Great Depression. Obama has SAVED us from economic collapse many times over. And our debt has only increased by 65% during his presidency as opposed to 175% under Reagan.

Okay, the percentages sound good, but what about the DOLLAR AMOUNT? It looks like Mr. Reagan added a whopping $1.86 trillion to our debt, which, I admit is quite the feat. I’m pretty impressed at the size of that number. Mr. Dubya did his share of damage as well, coming in at a whopping $5.849 trillion (this is the son, not the dad). But it’s our current president that tops them all (and he’s not even done yet!). He’s #1 with $6.463 trillion, and counting! HOLY SMOKES.

But don’t worry, he says. The government isn’t like a household; it can print money.
Oh good. Because that will fix everything. Ever heard of hyperinflation? 1920s? Germany? Is this sounding familiar to anyone?

wheelbarrows full of Deutch marks in order to buy loaves of bread

But enough of economy stupidity, lets move on to other stupid concepts, shall we?

This “reporter” goes on to talk about “bathroom bills” that are supposedly on the “Right Wing Agenda.” These are laws that would supposedly force trans women to use men’s bathrooms. Personally, I don’t have an issue with a trans-woman using the women’s bathroom. We have stalls, so come on in, close the door and do your business. I really don’t care. I would think that it would be more disturbing for these women to use the men’s room.

I mean, how weird would it be standing next to some lady at a urinal. What do you do then? Look over, nod, and say, “Wow, that purse totally goes with those shoes. Get those at Macy’s?”

Awkward much?

Grown ups can make their own decisions. If a trans-gendered person walks into a public bathroom and you’re uncomfortable, LEAVE. You’re an adult, act like it. Be the bigger person and move on.

Where I draw the line is in high school. I have a teenage daughter. She’s uncomfortable enough undressing in front of other GIRLS. Now she’s supposed to be okay changing in front of someone who feels like a girl, but is anatomically a BOY?

Nope.

Not gonna happen.

Fuggeddaboudit.

And because I also have an issue with this, I’m evil. Because I back my daughter in her feelings of discomfort, because I don’t want someone who is (for all intents and purposes) male in the locker room with my female child, because I respect my daughter’s right to have her feelings and privacy respected, there is something inherently wrong with me?

Whatever.

Fine.

If protecting my children means “damaged” in “progressive-speak”, I’ll wear it as a badge of honor and scream it at the top of my lungs.

I’M DAMAGED!

And damned proud of it, too.

Flint Water Matters! (Or Failure isn’t an Option, it’s Reality)

Infrastructure is failing everywhere. Here in California, we are in the biggest water crisis this state has seen in decades. Only this time, the war between the North and the South isn’t being fought over states rights, but over water rights. And California isn’t alone. Drive down any road and you can see it for yourself. Potholes, alligator cracking, crumbling pavement. And that’s what you can see. It gets even scarier when you go below ground.

Any idea what your sewer pipe looks like? When it’s empty, I mean. It’s really gross when it’s full (NOBODY wants to see that). If you live in an older city like San Francisco, Sacramento, or New York, chances are you have something called a combined system. That’s a sewer system that collects both storm water and wastewater (sewage). And that’s a problem. An EXPENSIVE problem. Combined systems have the potential to overflow (spill into the street), and cause more environmental damage). They are also some of the oldest systems in the US, and are in desperate need of rehabilitation.

So, it’s not surprising that Flint Michigan is having problems. We had something similar here in California. A little place called Hinkley in San Bernardino County which suffered groundwater pollution at the hands of PG&E. There was even a movie about it back in 2000. I believe this ended up being debunked, but my point is that what is happening in Flint is not anything new.

So, why are everyone’s panties in such a wad over this one town over any of the other hundreds of other places this type of crap is happening?

Because this town can be tied to all the bullshit hashtag one-liner political garbage memes spewing forth from everywhere.

OscarsSoWhite, BlackLivesMatter, WhitePrivilege, EndPovertyNow, RacismSucks, EnvironmentalismLives,

Here is the 2014 census breakdown of Flint, Michigan:

• nearly 42% of the population was below the poverty level;
• their per capita income was $14,527,and
• 57% of the population was Black.

Statewide Claims to Fame

1. Flint is 12th in Michigan out of 144 other cities in Total businesses (including small businesses)
2. Flint is 12th in Michigan out of 174 other cities in Size in square miles
3. Flint is 10th in Michigan out of 174 other cities in Race – Black or African American
4. Flint is 11th in Michigan out of 174 other cities in Income below poverty line

(I don’t know if I’d put that last one as a “claim to fame” personally, more like “claim to shame,” but there I go, being all judgmental again).

I do have some questions, though:

• Are the city demographics why Flint, Michigan’s water supply is suddenly so important?
• Would it be important if we weren’t in an election year?
• Would anyone in politics really care if the image of lead-poisoned poor minorities didn’t create a jaw dropping visual image for so-called “race relations?”

Of course, we all know that the answer to that is a big eye roll and a “yeah, right” worthy of my teen-aged children.

I think more important than political hashtag memes, or Hillary Clinton’s pretend outrage (you’d be wise to remember, glass houses and stones, Ms.I-Never-Had-Email-Relations-With-That-Server) is the notion that like our political, social, and collective values systems, our infrastructure system is just one more piece of this country that is failing.

Maybe I’m on to a new meme here. It can be just as stupid and limiting as the other political hashtag memes going on. Flint Water Matters!

Think about it, it could totally work as the new thing. Stupid, AND limiting! Failing water infrastructure in Flint, Michigan matters. But only water infrastructure. In Flint. Michigan. The rest of it? Well, who really cares anyway. Not Important. Let them eat cake. Or lead.

Wait.

No.

That’s something completely different.

Never mind….

I (can’t) Feel Your Pain

Today at work we were talking about the Yelp employee who was recently fired for her email to the CEO, which started me on a rant about a group that I call the “over-privileged millennials” (OPMs for short).

I’m terrified of these people for many reasons.

1. They are our future. And not in that high school valedictorian “we are the future” bullshit that everyone spews every June while they’re dressed in those ridiculously overpriced, highly flammable, super shiny, ugly as sin grandma-looking nightgowns with the cardboard hats and tassels that every 18-year old hangs from their rearview mirror in their car. No, our honest to God future. Folks, some day, these people will be taking care of us when we can no longer pee by ourselves.

2. The level of stupidity they exhibit may be contagious. I’m not sure about this, but when my children go off to college, will the stupidity of these OPM’s infect my own offspring? I worry about these things. When they leave their college campuses, will they infect the rest of us? Maybe some of us are protected because we have already found the cure (common sense and a job).

3. They’re just plain scary.

Back to the Yelp employee who was upset about her overpaid minimum wage job that most (normal) people would be happy to have. She’s college educated. Has a degree in English Literature. Which is about as useful as a degree in transgendered hippopotamus studies I would guess. So, she takes her (worthless) degree and moves to what is probably THE MOST expensive area in California – the San Francisco Bay Area. She lands a job that pays more than minimum wage (minimum wage in 2016 is $10/hr here in California) and, according to her, offers amazing benefits and free food. But she can’t take that free food home with her, which is so not cool. Bad Yelp! No (free) donut!

This leads me to wonder, was Ms. Disgruntled Yelp Employee one of the many students I’ve recently read about who can’t handle the pressures of college life? Like the students at Oberlin College who were under the constant stress for the improper preparation of the General Tsao chicken in the University dining hall. I can’t even imagine. No. Really. I can’t imagine this being a serious issue in my life. If this is what you view as a symbol of racism, General Tsao chicken, I beg of you to stop using up valuable oxygen.

What’s coming out of our schools seems to be more coddling than culture. More sissifying than studying. Students are complaining that annoying things like homework, study groups, and lectures are getting in the way of more important things like social advocacy, protesting, and rioting. How can we, as parents, possibly expect our children to do the very things we are paying for? How can we expect our kids to get an education, learn valuable job skills, and become productive members of society when there are things that are far more important for these OPMs to do? Like demand that the school change its name, or start using gender-neutral pronouns like xe, xem, and xyr, or make a truly authentic Thai dish at the cafeteria?

So we end up with employees like the girl at Yelp. With expectations that life will hand her diamonds, pissed off when she realizes she’s given a lump of coal. What she doesn’t understand is that 99% of us are given that lump of coal right out of high school or college. The difference between the OPM’s and the rest of us is that the rest of us realize that if we put in some blood, sweat, and tears, some time, and a lot of hard work, that coal can become a diamond.

No, that diamond isn’t going to be perfect, or wrapped in a Tiffany’s box, but it will be ours, imperfections and all.

This is a new line of jokes, right?

No matter how many times I have tried to unsubscribe to The Daily Beast (a liberal online “news” outlet) I still find their emails in my inbox. The smart thing would be to delete them without reading them, but, then, what’s the fun in that? These stories are my new guilty little pleasure. They’re right up there with the occasional trashy novel that I will swear to everyone I have never read.

This morning I open up the Daily Beast email to see their article on Chris Rock’s Oscar monologue from last night only to see it dubbed OscarSoWhite. I have to know. Is this a real thing? Because the first thing that pops into my (slightly deranged) head are those stupid jokes from when I was about ten. You know the ones: “Yo mama so fat… I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.”

“The Oscars so white…the two whole people who watched it were granted special privileges.” The rest of us were subjected to micro aggressions by angry hash-tags (those number sign things are pointy).

The Oscars owe me a micro apology